School Hell
by xRaiMoonsAbyss
Summary: AU. However, he didn’t notice when the two teens managed to sneak up on him until they popped up in front of him and kissed him flat on the lips simultaneously. LavixAllenxKanda KomuixReever -Crack pairing DaisyaxSuman, only for the comedy people-
1. Lavi Bookman

Me: Hey, here to let you know my other updates will be up soon. The sequel for The Bunny And The Samurai is almost complete as well. However, for now, I really wanted to share my plot bunny with the world.

Allen: Eheh…

Me: Oh yeah, me no own D. Gray Man…-sniff- but me wish that me did… heh…

Lavi: Please enjoy!!

Me: Be nice! This is my first AU story so… I won't be too good at it… but please be free to give con-crit!

--

**School Hell**

--

"Ah, Allen-san, good morning!" A girl said as a white-headed teen passed by.

"Good morning Ren-chan." Allen says, smiling. "I'll see you in class." And with that, he continues on his way.

"Hey, you. Just who do you think you are?" The leader of the school's biggest group of whores asks snobbishly.

"Excuse me?" Ren asks. "Can I help you in any way?"

"Just where do you get off talking to our precious Allen, hm? Talking with him like you're close buddies? Just who the hell do you think you are bitch?"

"Um, I think I'm his friend and next door neighbor?"

"Don't be smart with me you little who-

"Uh, excuse me, am I interrupting something?" Allen asks sweetly, walking back to Ren.

"Oh my god! Allen-tan, I didn't see you there!" The whore says whorishly. "Did you need something from me?" She asks hopefully, almost desperate.

"No, I'm not here for you. I just came to tell Ren that she's needed in the student council room. So, if you would kindly let us postpone this chat for another time."

"No problem Allen-tan. Feel free to get back to me anytime you want!"

"I will!" Allen says as he escorts Ren away. "Tch, not." he mutters under his breath.

"I seriously don't get why you even put up with people like that Allen. They just get on my nerves! I mean seriously, did you see that girl? I mean, sure it's okay to have a few admirers, but damn Allen! You have a bunch of girls just dying to make you theirs! Me excluded of course." Ren states.

"Heh, I can't help it. No matter how hard I try to get rid of them, they just keep growing in numbers. -Sigh- I know for sure Cross is at home laughing his ass off at how unfortunate I am."

"You may be unlucky, but hey, you're loaded Allen."

"That may be so, but it's not like Cross ever lets me spend some for myself. It's only for food and shelter, in my case anyways. -sigh- Why couldn't I just have a normal adoptive father…" Allen says as a cloud of despair appears above him.

"Move it." A stern voice says from behind.

"Ah, excu- oh, it's just _you._" Alen grits out, annoyed. A smirk.

"I believe I asked you to move, moyashi."

"If you say excuse me then I will. You clearly show no sign of manners Kanda." Allen retorts.

"Tch." The man identified as Kanda mutters, walking away.

"Now then, we better get going to the student council meeting Ren. You didn't think that all of that stuff from before was just a bluff to get you away from those girls did you?" Allen asks, raising a delicate brow.

"Actually, I did…"

"…"

"Oh shut up and let's go already!" Ren huffs and leads them to the designated location.

--

"I see we've all made it in time." The student council president, Suman Dark, said sternly.

"Yes sir." Ren replied.

"Okay then, down to business. Today a new student will be joining us. His name is Lavi Bookman and he's a third year. Walker, you are to give him a tour of the place and ensure that he is comfortable during his stay here at Black Order Academy, am I clear?"

"Yes -yawn- sir." Allen grumbles lazily.

"The rest of you be sure to make him feel welcome as well. That is all, you are dismissed."

"See 'ya later president." Allen says, stretching as he walks out of the room.

"Walker, wait."

"Um yea, need something?" Allen asks, rubbing his eyes.

"You are to meet our new student at the academy gates. Go now. He'll arrive in about five minutes." Suman informs.

"Sure, whatever captain." Allen mutters, heading to the school gates.

**Lavi's P.O.V**

'I got out of the car and gaped at the school. Damn was it huge! And when I mean huge, I mean gigantic!! I mean seven floors? Sure I knew this place was prestigious and all, but hell! I didn't know gramps was going to enroll me to a place like this.'

"Excuse me? Would you happen to be Lavi?" A boy with white hair asks.

"Oh, yeah, that's me. And who might you be?" I ask, curious. He smiles. Oh. My. God. That smile is adorable! STRIKE! I am going to make this kid mine! …Ah hell, what am I now, a pedophile?

"Oh, that was rude of me. It's nice to meet you Lavi, I'm Allen Walker. Feel free to call me whatever you wish. Pres told me to give you a tour of the place and to make sure you're comfortable here." he says, seemingly annoyed. "So, would you like to see the school's dojo? And from there I can show you to the gym."

"U-uh, sure. Why not?" I ask. Great, now a dojo? What else? Does this place have, a freaking space shuttle?

"So, just follow me and don't get lost otherwise pres will be on my case for the rest of the year." the kid mumbles. Did I mention that he looks so cute when he's annoyed? Cause if I didn't, well, you know.

"So, you a first year Allen?" I ask, breaking the tension.

"Yeah." he replies.

"And you keep on saying pres too, that mean you're a student council member?"

"Unfortunately." He sighs. "Ren talked me into it when I moved here."

"Ren?" I ask. Oh no, is it possible that he already has a girlfriend?

"Yeah, my neighbor. We became really good friends and it just so happened that I was to attend her school. So when the year started, she convinced me to join the student council with her. And here I am now. -sigh- I knew I shouldn't have joined. I'm pres' favorite lackey now. -sob-" he said sadly. Damn, I feel sorry for the kid. "Anyway, here we are." he says, leading me inside the dojo. I can't help but notice a girl there meditating.

"Hey Allen, who's she?" I ask, curious.

"She? Oh you mea-" He looks at me, then at the girl, me, then the girl, before breaking into fits of laughter. "D-D-Do you seriously think t-that K-K-Kanda is a girl? Did'ja hear Yuu-chan? Lavi here thinks you're a girl!" Hold on just one second. That's not a girl? Ah hell.

"Shut your trap moyashi and don't fucking call me that. And who the hell's a girl here?" he asks, voice dripping with malice. He unsheathes a katana and walks over to us. Oh shit.

"-laugh- Now, now BaKanda, please refrain from killing our new student and your new classmate. That would be quite a lot to explain to pres and I don't want him giving me extra work because of it." Allen defends. Aw, he's sticking up for me! I feel so special!!

"Tch."

**Normal P.O.V**

"I see you're still a man of many words." A voice says. "Allen, pres wants to meet the guy first you know."

"Che." Kanda mutters before going back to his meditation.

"Oh, hey Ren. Ren, this is Lavi. Lavi, this is Ren. Talk, get chummy, then turn him into your personal slave and let me free." Allen says sarcastically.

"Funny Allen. Now, come with me. You too Kanda, president wants you to take care of Lavi when Allen can't. During class and what not."

"Let's just get this over with. I have to go home after this and deal with Cross." Allen sighs . "Damn adoptive father." he sulks.

"Che."

"What? You seriously want me to call uncle Tiedoll and tell him that you were being mean to me? Do you really want that Kanda? Cause I am sure he wouldn't mind lecturing you for his dear nephew!" Allen retorts, crossing his arms.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh I would. In fact, I think I have him on speed dial." Allen replies, taking out his cell phone.

"These two related? Cause I definitely don't see a resemblance." Lavi asks.

"No, actually these two are foster kids. Their adoptive fathers are close friends, though Cross would never admit that. And these two have known each other for a while now. Allen's back up in arguments is always threatening to call Tiedoll. Ya see, Tiedoll is like, the king of all over-protective, worry wart fathers. And Kanda hates him like he's a contagious disease just waiting to kill him." Ren explains.

"What about you Sprout, I'm sure your old man would love to pummel you for being a no good smart ass." Kanda challenges.

"Y-You wouldn't d-dare." Allen gulps.

"Oh but I would. If only to see you suffer." Kanda says smirking, resulting in Allen sending him the meanest glare he could muster.

"Hmph." Allen turns his head the other way and looks at the look of surprise on Lavi's face.

"Sprout?" Lavi asks, amusement written all over his face.

"Shut. Up." Allen grumbles. "It's not my fault BaKanda over here decided to give me a damn pet name that makes me feel as if I'm a freaking vegetable for sale."

"It's not a pet name, don't get your hopes up moyashi." Kanda states, smirking ever so slightly.

"Why you…"

"Is this a usual routine?" Lavi asks Ren.

"You bet. You're going to have to get used to this. That is, if you have enough patience to deal with these two." Ren answers, pointing to the bickering teens. "Ah, but wait until you meet Lenalee!"

"Lenalee?"

"Yeah, she's another person from our little group of dysfunctional people." Allen says, sighing.

"I'll have you know that I am not dysfunctional Allen-kun. In fact, I work just fine!" A feminine voice says.

"Ah, I got caught." Allen says sweat dropping.

"So, this must be the new student? Nice to meet you, I'm Lenalee Lee." the one now introduced as Lenalee smiles, extending her hand.

"Ah, likewise, I'm Lavi." he responds, shaking Lenalee's hand.

"Walker, this is our new student?" Allen turns and sees the president standing with Lenalee.

"Yeah, he's the guy you sent me to pick up." Allen answers.

"I see, so you are Lavi. I'm Suman Dark, the president of the student council. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Same here." Lavi replies.

"Now all of you, get back to class. Kanda, I believe Ren already told you your assignment. Now, dismissed."

"Later pres." Allen says casually, walking away.

"Come with me usagi." Kanda says.

"Hey, who the hell is a-"

"KYAAAA!! ALLEN!!" A bunch of girls shriek once Allen opens a classroom door down the hall. Allen stares at the crazed fan girls, immediately slams the door shut, and walks toward Suman.

"I. Am. Not. Going. In. There." Allen says, voice low and fearful.

"Now, Walker, be nice to those girls okay? Now, go or you'll miss the lesson." Suman says, voice full of amusement.

"Come on pres, I'm begging you!! There has got to be something you need to be done! Just please don't make me go in there!!" Allen cries out hysterically.

"Look, there he is!" The whore from before calls out. They all turn to see her walking up to Allen.

"My, Allen-tan, I've been looking for you everywhere. Can we talk for a minute?" Allen lets out a barely audible growl but smiles at the annoying girl before him. Kanda snorts, and the rest of his acquaintances laugh silently.

"As much as it pleases me that you want to talk to me, my dearest lady, I'm afraid that I am too busy at the moment. If you would please wait for a more suitable time." Allen suggests, inwardly gagging at his tone of voice with this girl.

"What ever's fine with you! Now if you would please excuse me, I must get going." she replies in a fake, shrilly voice. Allen watches her walk away and immediately turns back to face Suman.

"Is it possible for me to transfer to another school?" Allen asks.

"No."

"Damn…" And once again, clouds of doom and despair appear above Allen's head.

"So…Allen's a chick magnet? That's……. amusing.." Lavi asks, eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Yes, and shut up…" Allen answers, gaining another snort from Kanda's direction.

"What is it now?" Allen asks impatiently. Glaring at the older teen.

"At least I can get rid of them moyashi." Kanda states.

"Well that's because you're a pompous jerk face who scares them all away!" Allen replies matter-of-factly.

"Come on you two, no fighting, you're giving me a migraine." Suman interrupts.

"Hmph, Kanda started it." Allen huffs, pointing an accusing finger at the former.

"Che."

"You guys…" Lavi sweat drops. Who would've thought he'd end up with two people who couldn't stand each other? He just has the best of luck doesn't he?

"Alright enough of this, you two, make up now. And when I say now, I mean NOW!" Ren yells.

"Sorry…there I said it…" Allen apologizes hesitantly. Kanda nods in acknowledgment and looks at the moyashi. Allen gives a small smile.

"Forgiven."

"Woah, is this like, some secret language or something?" Lavi asks jokingly.

"Sorta kinda…" Ren mutters, sweat dropping.

"LENALEEEEEEEE!! WHY ARE YOU SURROUNDED BY OCTOPIIII?!" A high pitched voice squeals.

"Here it comes.." Suman mumbles, irritated.

"Wha?" But before Lavi could asks any further, before anyone could even dare to answer his question, the man broke into another hysterical fit.

"LENALEEE!! MY PREIOUS LENALEEE!! WHHHHYY!?" Suman took out a walkie-talkie and called for someone by the name of Reever.

"Here we go again…" Allen and Lenalee sigh.

--

Soooo, did you like it?? I hope it's good, it's my first AU fic and I didn't have much confidence in it. Eheh, so, review please? I'd love to know what all of you think!!

Until next time,

-Rai!

P.S. The reviews will depend on how fast I update!! Lots of reviews, fast update. Little reviews..well, you get it.

P.P.S. Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you liked it!!

P.P.P.S. Reviewc or I will send my rabid albino bunnies after you with their ebil mushrooms!! BWAHAHAHAHA!! Ehem, ehe


	2. Their Past

Me: I'm so sorry for the late updates, I left a note in my profile to explain why I've had you all wait so long for me…Please don't get too mad at me!! Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Kanda: As if they could…

Me: Shut it!! Do you know how long it took me to find the drafts for these stories? Sheesh…

Allen: Ahahaha….Rai-chan does not own D. Gray Man

Me: I wish… Now then, let the story begin!

Lavi: Hey what about me?!

**--**

**School Hell**

**Chapter 2: Their Past**

**--**

Reever stared at the sight before with wide eyes. 'He just had to push him until he snapped…for the umpteenth time this week…' Reever thought, tick mark appearing on his forehead. There, standing in front of him, is what they called 'Black Allen'. He currently holds an unconscious Komui up by the collar, slapping him repeatedly. Reever sweat dropped.

"Allen…" Reever said, snapping the boy out of his beat-Komui-to-a-bloody-pulp trance. Allen looked at Reever, then back at Komui's now severely injured body. He dropped Komui onto the floor and tilted his head to the side cutely; a seemingly 'innocent and confused' look on his face. Kanda, fed up with this, walked up to him and hit him on the head.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR BAKANDA?!" Allen screamed.

"Stop playing dumb, baka. You know you're anything but innocent. You had a foul mouth when we were children. You were rude, brash, and anti-social. So stop acting like your something your not. It pisses me off." Kanda replies. "Tch…but I'm proud of you for beating the shit out of that lunatic." He whispered, so only those close to him could hear. It took Allen a few seconds to register what the almighty Kanda Yuu had told him, and then he smiled. Lavi smiled as well; this was going to be an interesting school year.

"Oi, usagi." Kanda calls. Lavi huffs. "Follow me; we're going to class now." Lavi nods.

"Good luck with the fan girls Moyashi-chan!" Lavi shouts, grinning as he does so.

"Not you too Lavi!" Allen complains as the two boys disappear down the hall.

"You've had your fun Allen. Here's a late pass, now, get to class, you're late enough as it is…" Reever says. Allen huffs, takes the pass, and enters the classroom that's bound to bring about his demise.

**With Kanda and Lavi…**

Lavi observed his surroundings. The inside of the building was just as nice as the outside. A beautiful interior it was. Lavi snapped out of his thoughts when Kanda opened a door for him. Lavi looked at him with his one eye questioningly.

"Go in." Kanda muttered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well, it sort of was. Moreover, Lavi learned that Kanda had some kind of etiquette, although it would quickly disperse once around Allen. That reminded him, how was Allen doing with all those girls? The thought quickly left his mind when he found many girls in the classroom staring at him as if he was some kind of fresh meat on a platter.

"I presume this is the new student that Suman was talking about Kanda-kun?" The teacher, Rouvelier asked.

"Yes he is Rouvelier." Kanda muttered with a bored tone.

"_Mr. Rouvelier." he corrects._

"_Mr. _Rouvelier." Kanda replies, annoyed.

"Very well then. This is our new student. I'll allow him to introduce and describe himself." the teacher described as the girls eagerly awaited to hear this fine fellow's name.

"Ah…my name's Lavi Bookman. I have good memory, I would like to say that I'm intelligent but unfortunately, gramps disagrees with me, heh. I like playing sports and I'm outgoing. I love to make jokes and have a good time." Lavi says grinning. The majorities of the girls in the class have either fainted or are currently swooning over the new guy. The boys in the class, excluding Kanda, are moping over the fact that another guy has shown up; decreasing the chance of them ever finding a girlfriend.

"Now, it's nice to meet you Lavi. I am your teacher Mr.Rouvelier. There are three empty seats so feel free to choose whichever one you like." Lavi scans the room and locks eyes with Kanda. Lavi grins and Kanda scowls. He pulls the up the chair in front of Kanda, turns it around and rests his head on Kanda's desk, grinning like an idiot. The rest of the class gape at the new student's bravery. Kanda never allowed anyone to sit in front of him. Simply because it annoyed him to have anyone too close to him.

"Heh, what's up Yuu-chan?" Lavi asks. The class gasps. No one other than Tiedoll and Allen has ever called him that and has gotten away with it. They awaited the stoic teen's response. Kanda moves his hand, preparing to what seems like, slap Lavi. Instead, he points at the door. Lavi nods and smiles.

"Huh?" A few of the students ask. But then, the door slams open, revealing a flushed and exhausted Allen.

"Waaah!! Lavi, Kanda!! Save meeeeee!!" Allen yells, running behind the two older teens. A crowd of fan girls appear at the door, yelling nonsense about Allen marrying them and having their child. "No means no already!! Besides I don't even like, or know any of you for that matter."

Lavi walks towards the crowd, smiles handsomely, and tells them to leave. The girls, love struck, obey his command.

"Thank you for interrupting my class yet again Walker." Rouvelier says.

"Ah, well, sorry about that?" Allen says, laughing nervously.

"You three leave, I do not want anymore disturbances." Rouvelier commands.

"Fine, whatever." Kanda says, leading the other two out of the room.

The class, dumb struck, watches with wide eyes as the three leave the room.

--

"…" Silence consumes the trio.

"Bwahahaha!! Allen, you should've seen the look on your face!! It was hilarious!" Lavi says, clutching his stomach. Allen punches his shoulder playfully.

"Hmph. You didn't have rabid; man eating fan girls from the pits of hell chasing after you now did you?" Allen asks, pouting.

"No, but I did have girls look at me like they were going to devour me like I was being served on a golden platter." Lavi says shrugging.

"Well it gets worse, doesn't it Kanda?" Allen asks. Kanda smirks.

"That's only because you don't have the guts to threaten them." Kanda answers.

"Well sorry if I don't like scaring girls on a normal everyday basis. It's rude and mean!" Allen counters.

"Since when did you care sprout? Last I checked you were rude to anyone who bothered you! What's changed now?" Kanda responds. Allen smiles.

"I met Mana, remember?" Allen says sullenly. Kanda, remembering how close he was to this Mana person, and how he died on his birthday; shut his mouth and instead ruffled Allen's hair. Allen looked at him questioningly.

"The past is the past. It still doesn't change the fact that you once were that way. You've changed to some degree, but you're still the same old moyashi I knew when we were kids." Kanda smirks.

"Ah! You're messing up my hair! Leave it alooone!!" Allen complains.

"My my, what a lovely scene we have here." A familiar voice states happily.

"Ah, Ren! What's up?" Allen asks.

"Errands to run. You?"

"Ah well, I was being chased by fan girls, so I ran to the only two I could think of in that situation. So, I ended up interrupting Rouvelier's class yet again, so he told us to leave." Allen explains, rubbing the back of his head. "Damn fan girls. They don't know when to fucking quit do they." A chuckle.

"Kanda?" Ren asks.

"My point exactly moyashi." Kanda says.

"Okay, so maybe I do have a potty mouth! At least I've improved!! Every sentence I used to say was a string of curses!!" Allen defends himself.

"Hn." Kanda replies, uninterested.

"You two…" Lavi sweat drops.

"I see you've learned quite a bit about them in a short amount of time." Ren says, chuckling quietly.

"Um yeah. But, who's this Mana guy anyway? I thought his adoptive father was Cross…" Ren's eyes soften.

"I didn't meet the two of them when I was a small child. But I've heard the story. Cross, Mana, Tiedoll, Kanda, Allen, and a few other kids used to travel together. All of the children that they took with them were orphans. They met Mana during their travels and he ended up joining their little group. Mana adopted Allen and began to change him. He was nicer, cared more about others, and put others before himself. But, about two years later; Mana died in a carriage accident…on Allen's birthday. Cross took it upon himself to adopt Allen since Cross was originally Allen's mentor. He allowed Allen to keep Mana's last name, although he is Allen's official guardian." Ren explained, her voice laced with sadness as if she wished she could've suffered in Allen's place.

"I see…" Lavi felt bad for Allen. He didn't pity him, nor did he want to comfort him when there was no way he knew how he felt. He just wanted to be there for him from now on.

"Oi, usagi." A voice calls out to him.

"Hm, oh, yeah?" He asks.

"You were zoning out for like 5 minutes. You okay?" Allen asks.

"I'm fine." Lavi says grinning.

"Hey guys, I can ask pres if he'll let us take the rest of the day off. You want to go to Allen's house if he allows us?" Ren asks.

"Sure." Lavi answers.

"Ugh, fine…" Allen sighs.

"Okay I'll be back!" Ren says, running in the other direction. "Wait for me on the rooftop!"

--

As they open the door to the rooftop, Lavi swears he heard Kanda muttering a string of curses, but shrugged it aside.

"Marie look! It's squirt and Kanda!" a voice chirps happily.

"Daisya, please don't yell. you're hurting my ears, remember?" The one identified as Marie complains.

"Yeah yeah. Anyway, what brings you here squirt?" Daisya asks.

"Daisya. I'm not squirt, nor am I a moyashi. I'm Allen! A-L-L-E-N! Get it through your thick head!" Allen says, pouting. Daisya laughs and pats Allen on the head. He turns his head towards Lavi.

"The name's Daisya, nice to meet you. The one with the really sensitive hearing is Marie." Daisya says, extending his hand. Lavi grins mischievously.

"My name's Lavi, ditto." He says. They both look at Marie, then at each other, and laugh darkly. Inhale. "IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU MARIE! I'M LAVI!!" They high five and end up gasping for air after a laughing fit. Marie, wincing at the tone of voice used, glares at them childishly.

"Ah, it seems they're getting along. Hey Marie, sorry about that." Allen apologizes sweat dropping. He looks at the duo trying to play with Kanda's hair, and failing miserably. "And to think…this is his first day here. Well, it seems he'll fit in just fine."

"Worried about him Walker?"

"AAAH!! WHAT THE HELL PRES?" Allen screams, going into a defensive stance.

"Chill out Allen! I brought Pres with me!" Ren says, appearing behind Suman. "Oh, nice reflexes by the way!" The rest of the group stare at them questioningly.

"It seems Daisya and Marie are here as well." Suman states. Daisya lets out an audible growl.

"What do you want?" Daisya commands.

"I just came here to tell everyone that they are excused from school for the rest of the day. Permission granted by Sir Tiedoll himself." Suman replies nonchalantly.

"Don't get s-smart with me you b-bastard!" Daisya screams. Allen puts his arm in front of Daisya, signaling for him to stop.

"I apologize pres. He still hasn't…forgiven you for that incident, and all the others after that." Allen states, sighing.

"It's quite alright. I'll see all of you tomorrow." Suman replies, walking away.

"Incidents?" Lavi questions.

"I-I-It's nothing you h-have to concern y-yourself with L-L-Lavi!" Daisya yells. "I'll go h-h-ome first, I'll s-s-see you guys t-there." he stutters, dragging Marie with him.

"Bye bye Daisie-kun!" Allen yells, chuckling at Daisya's horrified reaction.

"Daisie?" Lavi asks.

"Mhm. Suman has the habit of calling him Daisie-kun before kissing him…and walking away. We'd like to think it's a condition, but it only happens to Daisya so…" Allen trails off, sweat dropping.

"I see..." Lavi replies.

"Come on you two, let's go…" Kanda interrupts.

"Ah, wait for us Yuu-chan!" Lavi yells.

--

"G…Gra…mps?" Lavi asks, staring at the old man sitting on the living room couch.

"I see you've come, stupid children." A deep voice interrupts.

"Welcome home my lovely kids!" Tiedoll says happily.

"Lavi…welcome to our new home."

* * *

Once again i apologize for the late update!! If you'd like to know why please se my profile! I'm currently typing out the other story updates so pleeease bare with me!! Hugs andkisses!!

-Rai


	3. Eh?

Me: Finallyz, a new update!!

Allen: You sound as if you were the one waiting for it…

Me: Well I was waiting for the scarce free time…sheesh. I really apologize for the long wait, I'm very busy and at this very moment I should be doing hw, but oh well. I can't promise more updates right now but I'll try my best. Can you believe that I already have projects due?!

Lavi: Rai-chan finally has some free time!! Schoolz, boring, I don't see why ya go

Me: Well I can't memorize something by looking at it once, unlike some people can Lavi.

Kanda: Moon'sEclipse doesn't own D. Gray Man; get the moronic story over with…

**--**

**School Hell**

**Chapter 3: Eh?**

**--**

Lavi stared with his mouth agape, staring at his grandpa in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?" Lavi asks.

"Don't make me repeat myself again stupid boy." he replies. Kanda rushes passed them and grabs Tiedoll by the collar.

"What. Is. The. Meaning. Of. This." he spits venomously, pointing an accusing finger at the poor bunny. Said bunny gulps and hides behind Allen, although the height difference doesn't really help much…

"Now now, Yuu-kun. Please calm down and listen. Our house is fairly large, if your puny little brain didn't register that fact. And according to some standards, fairly large would be equivalent to freaking humongous. The Bookman family are friends with master and uncle, so when they heard that they were moving to this area, uncle convinced master to let two of their members stay here." Allen explains. Kanda directs his glare at the younger boy.

"You knew about this?" Kanda asks, hand twitching towards Mugen.

"Afraid I did, we just didn't inform you because this result would've happened much earlier. But now the arrangements have been made, and you can't do anything about iiiit!!" Allen teases, running to hide behind Tiedoll once Kanda unsheathes his precious sword and charges after him. "Ha! 's that all ya got Yuu-chan?" Allen says, laughing as he avoids all of Kanda's anger influenced attacks.

Lavi, finally able to think properly, bangs his head against a wall repeatedly.

"Well, don't you think he took that rather well?" Allen asks from under Kanda's death grip of doom. Lavi turns to face the two of them, and a large grin appears on his face. "Lavi…?"

"This means I can spend time with you guys even more!" Lavi says happily, a sly and mischievous grin spreading across his face. After registering what he just said, Allen and Kanda pale. Damn it, not another Daisya…"Ne, Yuu-chan, moyashi-kun, Daisie-pon?" he asks, laughing at their grim expressions. What he was not prepared for, was a good, painful punch from all three of them.

"Was only kidding, you didn't have to wound little old me…" Lavi coughs, moving into fetal position. Beginning to chant something about evil people wanting to eat him or something.

"Hn." Kanda replies,

"Don't call me that!" A very flustered Daisya yells.

"Sorry usa-chan, you deserved it though.." Allen huffs, pouting. Two large hands land on Allen's small shoulders.

"Oi, who's the brat?"

"M-Master! Don't sneak up on me like tha- eeeeeeh?" Allen shrieks after being picked up off the ground and mercilessly thrown into a wall. "O…uch." Allen mutters, before falling unconscious.

"I asked you who he was, not to lecture me, stupid apprentice." the one now known as Allen's mentor mutters, inhaling smoke from his cigarette. Kanda, already used to the routine, drags the some-what dead moyashi onto the couch, scoffing as he does so.

"Oh my, there goes another dent in our lovely wall, remind me to call someone for that…" Tiedoll says sadly. "You should really treat your wonderful son with more care and love Cross! The poor boy needs his TLC! You need to treat him as I treat my beautiful sons!" he yells dramatically. The occupants of the room sweat drop.

"Sooo…." Daisya starts off.

"Yea…" Lavi continues. "That was…interesting…"

"I feel left out people, Ren feels left out. Did you all forget that Ren was here?" Ren murmurs sadly, letting fake tears fall from her eyes.

"Yes." Everyone in the room answers quickly, causing Ren to crawl to a dark corner and grow mushrooms.

"Ren, deary, please don't grow mushrooms in other peoples' house please…" Tiedoll reminds.

**5 minutes of silence…**

"……"

**10 more minutes of silence…**

"Does anyone else feel very awkward at the moment?" A nod from all the occupants.

**7 more minutes…**

"Nnngh, I see a white light, am I dead?" A tired voice asks.

"No idiot, sadly, you're alive." Kanda answers.

"Oh great. Why do I hear Kanda's annoying voice even in death? Aren't I supposed to haunt him, not the other way around? This is really weird, maybe I should go to the dead people hospital…" Allen says to himself. Everyone, clearly amused and slightly fearful of Allen's loss of sanity, slowly back away.

"H-Hey, does this happen on a daily basis too?" Lavi asks with a horrified expression.

"No, this is the first time…" Ren states, throwing some unidentified plastic object (AN IPO!! XD) at Allen. Allen stirs slightly and immediately sits up, watching the freaked out expressions of his audience. His gloomy expression then changes into a wide grin.

"YOU GUYS SHOULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACES!! OH MY GOD THAT WAS HILARIOUS!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY FELL FOR THA- Allen gets cut off when his master ever so kindly hits him on the head with his famous mallet, or was it a hammer? Eh…nobody's paying attention. Allen, caressing his fresh bump; sends a deadly glare at his master, who in turn walks away, whistling an unknown tune. Boy was Lavi going to have to adjust to his new dysfunctional family big time…

--

**The Next Day…**

"Lavi!! Hey, Lavi!! Wake up already sleepy head!" Allen yells, shaking Lavi's sleeping figure. "Mou, come on and wake up already!" He stares at Lavi's peaceful expression and smiles. Lavi, deciding it's time to stop playing around with the annoyed teen, opens his eyes to see Allen staring at him. He grins.

"Like what you see Moyashi-chan?" he asks slyly. Allen turns beet red.

"I d-don't know what y-you're talking about! And I'm n-not a moyashi!! My n-name is Allen! Get it straight!!" Allen stutters, face flushed a lovely shade of crimson. Laughter from the amused bunny.

"I get it, I get it. So, why'd ya wake me up Allen-chan? It's Saturday isn't it?" Lavi asks, yawning slightly.

"Well about that…" Allen starts. "Tiedoll wants to get to know you better… and he's planning a 'family outing' for today. Some sort of 'family bonding trip' I presume. He said to wake you up and make sure you get dressed."

"I see." …Ding ding!! Lavi's got an idea!! "So…you gonna stay and make sure I change or are you gonna wait outside my door?" He says grinning like the stupid idiot he is. A loud bang is heard throughout the entire house. 'I guess that means he'll wait out side my door…' Lavi thinks sweat dropping.

A few minutes later…

"I'm ready people!" Lavi chirps happily, scanning the room. "Eh, where's gramps?"

"He said he had to attend to something today so he wouldn't be able to come. He also said not to do anything stupid during our little trip." Daisya explained. Lavi feigned hurt.

"Me? Do anything stupid? Oh how his words wound me. I feel as if a knife has pierced my fragile heart a thousand times over. Oh how my heart pounds and shouts in pain!" Lavi recites dramatically.

"Oh Lavi, it's okay! We're all here to support and nurture you!" Tiedoll yells happily.

"Oh god…tell me this is not happening. I do not know them, I do not know them, I seriously do not know them…" Allen murmurs.

"You're not the only one…" Daisya mutters. Everyone nods in agreement.

"That's so mean my darling nephew! Don't you think more of us?!" Tiedoll asks, crying. "And to think, I spent all of those years nurturing you and allowing you to grow into the wonderful bean sprout you are today!" Unintentionally wounding Allen's pride and raising Kanda's ego.

"WHO SAID I WAS A BEAN SPROUT!? SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! I KNOW I'M A BIT ON THE SHORT SIDE FOR MY AGE, BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS, I JUST HAVEN'T HIT MY GROWTH SPURT YET OKAY!!" He yells exasperatingly. Marie winces and crawls away from the loud conversation.

"Say what you want, you'll always be a bean sprout to me." Kanda replies nonchalantly, sending Allen a challenging glare.

"Damn idiots I swear." Cross mutters under his breath. "Let's get this damn thing over with before I change my mind about going."

"It's not like I'll care." Allen whispers more to himself than anyone else. Unfortunately for the poor boy, he said it loud enough for everyone to hear him.

"What was that stupid apprentice?" Allen yelps and hides behind Kanda.

"Er, uh, nothing master…" Allen replies, faking a smile.

"I thought so."

"Let's just go already." Kanda retorts.

"Come on, let's go before Yuu get's all pissy." Allen states, directing his attention to Kanda. "And I mean that with all the love in the world." (Lol, Wilson line!! House ftw!! Why did you leave House all alone!! Why did you leave?! Can't you see that House needs you?! Come baaaack Wilson!! Ahem, back to the story…)

Kanda glares, Allen smirks, and Lavi just smiles at his companions' behavior.

--

There they were, sitting 'peacefully' on a silent hill, viewing the spectacular bed of flowers surrounding them and the sky's ever present radiance. How did they get to the hill you ask? Hell if I know, it's located on the outskirts of the town so, that might explain a few things. If they skipped, jumped, walked, or flew is beyond me. Anyway, our favorite three were sitting separate from the others, an area a bit south of the hill, by a nearby lake. Allen was twirling a delicate flower in between his fingers, Kanda was laying down, and Lavi took the time to read a book from god knows where. The silence seemed to last forever, if only some unwanted visitors didn't show up.

"Yo, cheating shonen." A masculine voice said, accompanied by a girly shriek of happiness, and two voices muttering something under their breathes. Allen turned to see who the voice came from and immediately grinned. He ran up to the man and tackled him to the ground.

"Tyki! Why didn't you tell me you guys were back in town!?" Allen asked happily, unknowingly straddling the older man. Kanda emitted a low growl and Lavi unconsciously did the same. Tyki looked to the two boys and grinned, putting his arms around the younger male possessively.

"We wanted to surprise you, shonen." And with that, he captured Allen's lips with his.

* * *

Le fin!! Ooooh, Lavi and Kanda have competition!! What do ya think they're going to do when someone comes and tries to steal their future uke? Find out next!!

Oh yeah, don't you just love House!! OMG Wilson and House belong together!!

Lol, anyway, reviews please, they feed my soul!!

-Rai, the humble servant of Yaoi Goodness!!


	4. Point Of Lost Sanity

_Me: Hey all!! It's been a while since you last heard from me, now hasn't it? And since you guys are probably ready to stab me with pitchforks, why don't I go ahead and start the story, eh?_

_Lavi: Rai does not own D. Gray Man_

_Allen: Please enjoy it!!_

_Kanda: Tch…_

_Tyki: Reviews are loved :3_

_Me: Warning: Language on Kanda's part._

_**--**_

_**School Hell**_

_**Chapter 4: Point of Lost Sanity**_

_**--**_

_**Last time on School Hell:**_

"_Yo, cheating shonen." A masculine voice said, accompanied by a girly shriek of happiness, and two voices muttering something under their breathes. Allen turned to see who the voice came from and immediately grinned. He ran up to the man and tackled him to the ground._

"_Tyki! Why didn't you tell me you guys were back in town!?!" Allen asked happily, unknowingly straddling the older man. Kanda emitted a low growl and Lavi unconsciously did the same. Tyki looked to the two boys and grinned, putting his arms around the younger male possessively. _

"_We wanted to surprise you, shonen." And with that, he captured Allen's lips with his._

**+Kanda's P.O.V+**

**--Kanda's Inner Sanctuary--**

How dare that bastard take advantage of the brat like that? Who the hell does that fucking pedophile think he fucking is?

_Ah, jealousy is such a wonderful thing. _

What the…who the hell?

_My now Yuu-kun, have you forgotten this lovely voice already?_

…Usagi…

_-Giggle- Ding ding! And we have a winner!!_

Great, I have a talking voice in my head that oh so conveniently sounds like the damn rabbit.

_Don't forget 'bout me Kanda-chan!_

…

_Daisya!! Hey, how are you doing? _

_Doing just fine, how about you? _

Will you shut the fuck up so I can have some fucking peace of mind?

_Oooh, someone's got a temper._

_He does, doesn't he?_

_Yup, he definitely needs anger management._

_It's funny cause you know, he meditates a lot. But that really doesn't help at all, Lavi._

When I see you both together I swear I am going to take Mugen, decapitate you slowly and painfully, cut your bodies to fucking pieces and gouge your eyeballs out of their sockets.

_Y-yes sir._

Now what the fuck do you want from me?

_Ah that's right, we're your conscience!! We're always here._

Well that's just fucking great…the usagi's and soccer idiot's voices are the ones I hear in my head….

_Well, we couldn't resist taking on these voices, they just annoy you so much!!_

If you chose people that annoyed me, why not choose the moyashi?

_Ho ho, you hear that Daisya?_

_Sure do Lavi._

Well fuck…you even took on their names.

_K-Kanda! Ah! -gasp- S-Stop it! Nnngh...ah! Ah! W-What do y-you think you- ahh!! Mnn hahh!! AAAH!!_

…

I am going to fucking castrate you.

_Well, you did suggest one of us take on Allen's voice. I gave it a go and look how hot and bothered ya are now!! Trust me, you'll thank me for this later._

_Nice one Lavi!!_

_And what else would you expect from the great me?_

Damn it all that's it.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

**+End P.O.V+**

"What is it?" Kanda asks, his voice wavering.

"Ah, Kanda… Well, uncle said to tell you to get ready. We're leaving soon." Allen's quiet voice is heard.

"And just where the hell are we going?"

"To the Noah's welcome back party. Uncle said it was mandatory for all of us, including Master, to attend. He said it wasn't too long ago that the company Black Order Corps formed an alliance with the Earl Corps, and uncle wants to be on good terms from here on out in order to prevent further casualties." Allen explains. "It's a formal wear party so…get your tux out."

"…"

"Um, Kanda?"

"What is it, you're not finished talking yet moyashi?"

"I w-well…"

"Get on with it. I don't have all fucking day."

"…It's nothing, forget it." And Kanda closed his eyes and listened silently as Allen's barely audible footsteps echoed throughout the long corridor, getting farther and farther with every second, synchronizing with the rapid beats of his wildly thumping heart. And for a second, Kanda could've sworn he heard the sprout whisper something. But hell, it was probably just his imagination. The only thing to do now was figure out why he's been getting this strange feeling whenever he's around the bean.

"_Mana…things are getting so complicated."_

_--_

"Kids!! Come down now!! Let me see how lovely and dashing you all look tonight!!" Tiedoll yells happily. "Tonight marks the start of a new beginning my lovelies! We must do whatever we can in our power to make it a great start!!"

"Yeah yeah, we hear you already." Kanda grumbles, walking down the staircase in an elegant manor. Following him are Allen, Lavi, Daisya, and Marie. "Ah!! My, you darlings look so wonderful!"

"Yah sure fine, let's just get this over with already." Daisya mumbles, squirming around in his tux uncomfortably. "The lot of us are going to be surrounded by filthy Noah and their henchmen; it's sickening to think about."

"Now now Daisya, many other Black Order officials are attending this party, you aren't going to be alone." Tiedoll replies, putting on his coat.

"Y-You d-don't mean---

"Why yes Daisya, even him." Allen says, smirking.

"I'M NOT GOING TO THIS DAMN PARTY!! NO FUCKING WAY!! IF THAT BASTARD IS GOING YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT OF THIS!"

"Master, if you will…" Allen says.

"Don't order me around stupid apprentice." Cross retorts. But even so, he takes out his mallet thing and whacks Daisya on the head forcefully, knocking him out and possibly causing brain damage and a concussion to the already stupefied teen.

"I'm not dragging him around." Kanda states grumpily as he walks out the door.

"Let's go kids."

"Good luck with the body Marie."

"EH?"

--

"Ne, Allen?"

"Yeah Lavi?" Allen asks, staring up at the shimmering stars, dancing around in the night sky.

"Wanna know what my job is?" He asks excitedly. "I bet you'll never guess."

"Bookman's apprentice. You are apart of the Bookman clan and your last name is Bookman. Let me guess, you are a Bookman in training? Your job is to record historical information that otherwise would not be recorded in your average text book. It's not hard to guess Lavi. You like gloating too much. Us Black Order members are well informed when we want to be." Allen states matter of factly.

"Well crap." Lavi says, pouting. "You take away all the fun Allen." Allen grins and playfully punches Lavi in the shoulder.

"I guess this means you're well aware of the war huh?"

"Yep. I wouldn't be the apprentice if I was that stupid, now would I?"

"Say, do you think it's a blessing to be able to fight or a curse?" Allen inquires, gazing ahead at Kanda's strong and proud figure.

"I don't really get what you mean." Lavi replies. Allen looks at him and down at a gloved hand, clenching it ever so slightly.

"Innocence." Allen mutters. "To be able to fig-- No, to be forced to fight with this innocence by your side, is it a blessing or a curse?

"Black Order High is a prestigious academy where children are taught to grow into mature and well defined adults. However, in the shadows, they create us; the Corps Exorcists, so to speak. We are chosen by the divine substance known as innocence to fight for our lives and for the world, yet we pretend we live a normal life. Allen, it's the catalyst and the cure. We can't have peace without war and we can't have good without bad. As long as you live your life the way you feel, thing's are bound to change." Lavi grins, ruffling Allen's hair affectionately.

"You're more informed that I would've thought for a newcomer." Allen replies.

"Even though I am Black Order Corps' newest edition, I am Lavi Bookman. Nothing gets by me when it's interesting information." He says, snickering. He puts an arm around Allen's shoulder and grins. "Watch this." he whispers.

"Wha?"

"YUU-CHAN!! SLOW DOWN A BIT WILL YA!! COME HANG OUT WITH ME AND ALLEN-TAN FOR A BIT!!"

"E-Excuse me? A-Allen-tan?" And Allen could've sworn he heard Kanda mutter that he's "not jealous of that damn fucking rabbit so shut the fuck up". His eyes glitter with interest and mischief.

'_This makes things a whole lot easier.' _

And when Kanda finally turned around to answer the annoying duo's calls, he never expected to see Allen and Lavi embracing each other, grinning like mad men. His chest clenched painfully and he quickly turned away. However, he didn't notice when the two teens managed to sneak up on him until they popped up in front of him and kissed him flat on the lips simultaneously.

Oh yes, let the games begin.

* * *

Ah yes, this may be short but i hope you enjoyed it!! There should be one part in there worthy of a fangirl squeal -winks-

Once again very sorry for not being able to update in a while!!

-Rai


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